If i had let my desires take control of me

Growing up I was never lectured about love, that’s a topic I never got a lecture from.

Even about sex, but there were simple and plain messages about sex my parents informed us that made us know that sex is an after marriage thing. Though a lot of youths will disagree with this, not because they have a reason but because their desire is in control of them.

I’ll like to delve into the love issue. Islamically having boyfriend and girlfriend isn’t allowed. I never asked why, but I’m very sure because it exposes us to immoralities.

When I graduated from secondary school. I was still naïve. I did well academically but even when my friends had girlfriends I didn’t. It wasn’t like I was not good looking, but bcos I was a little reserved…maybe very reserved. Although there was a girl who always borrowed a pen from me and tried to converse with me but I guess I wasn’t too smart to know what she was trying to do. But Alhamdulilah she’s married now, this year.

Long story short after graduation my parents made me visit our relative in another state, and that’s where I met a girl who by now I still can’t have her out of my head.

Its safe to say she’s the first ever girl I have ever loved. Then I was still not really islamically knowledgeable but I didn’t do anything immoral.

I dated her, and by Allah all I wanted was to have this girl as my wife. She also fancied this idea, but we were just teenagers. I just graduated and she still had two more years before she graduates.

All I wanted to do was get into a university, graduate, get a job and marry her…and I told her…she was as excited abt it as i was.

I just want to remind you that through out the 3 years we dated we never kissed or do anything immoral. It was all about an inner chemistry, talking and sharing feelings…it was magical.

So what happened?

Well I had my plans and Almighty Allah had His. I couldn’t get into a university as quickly as I planned. Got in last year, alhamdulilah..

We were still together even after I left the state. Although I must confess that there were bits of misunderstanding sometimes, its a common thing.

On a faithful day I got a msg, and it read that her family have gotten a husband for her. They wanted her to marry on time because she was growing fast and more beautiful and probably feared that’s she might indulge in licentious acts.

The news shattered me! I was so sad I coudnt sleep. This is a girl that gave me hope to make it, she was the reason I wanted to succeeded, I wanted to be the one that will be there for her. But Allah has His plans.

So what I’m I saying?

Each time I remember her and remember how we didn’t indulge in immoral acts I feel happy. I feel relieved that I didn’t violate someones daughter, someones sister, someones aunt. I have this good feeling that radiate my heart that makes me feel that I didn’t turn a good girl bad, I didn’t let my desires take control of me.