Why So Afraid

Our hearts, our lives --- our world.

Whatever constitutes the above mentioned, we are very protective of them.

We will do whatever it takes to keep them intact.

We will employ Love and Fear in all it's forms to keep things from falling apart.

So, what if we need things to fall apart for a bit in our lives --- what if "falling apart" is a good thing, a path to the ultimate stabilization everyone desires.

We are dependent beings, we are emotional beings --- we are social beings.
All the philosophy, intelligence, "geniusness" and worth (fuls) nots, a human could possibly possess cannot change those.
It's innate in everyone, people just have different avenues of showcasing theirs.

As 2014 draws to a close, and we herald 2015 --- like most of us, I've taken time to reflect on the year, highs, lows, "highlows" and "lowhighs".

One thing I've being able to do for myself this year is Love. Yes, Love --- the environment, people, things, animals, inter alia. God! I Love(d). I became literally transformed this year.

However, like most of us, a part of me --- the romantic side, especially during the closing quarter of the year has somehow given up on love. I found that I was just satisfied with having friends, people who cared and I could care for. It took a sermon from my very good friend to realize that I ought to consider giving Love a chance.
That kinda jolted me back to reality.
As a certified true African, even though people have bastardised the issue, coming up with very unfair and demeaning theories, I still believe a woman's place is in her husband's home, however, while she waits for the universe to align things for her in that regard, the best she can do is keep learning and living.


Except you don't have exigent guardians, except you are the best loner there is, no matter how much you try to avoid discussions of romantic attachments and marriage possibilty, it'll find ways to rear it's ugly head (maybe) like a hydra and hunt you.

Somehow, unconsciously, we have convinced ourselves that it's okay not to live life fully in that regard. We would do anything to maintain control of our senses. Even when we find that one person who makes us wanna loose a bit of our comportment and "dignity" --- we bail on them, we bail on ourselves. We consider Love hard work. I mean!!! Who wants to go through the mind games, reverse psychologies and having to lose oneself all in the name of loving a person. We shy away from the reality before us by convincing ourselves that we're just being careful not to undergo hurts again, and maybe again.

Case In Point --- This is fictional btw.

I find that I like someone, I've come to the conclusion he is cool. He likes me too! Maybe a lot more than I do.
Well, guess what?

We're so careful, we don't wanna fall for the "wrong person", no, not again.
We employ mind games, albeit subconsciously, we engage each other in a "the more you look, the less you see" kinda game.

We think up all possible and impossible reasons in the universe why we may not be right for each other, even when our heart clearly thinks we are. We think of the scores of guys and ladies we might be liking at the same time like we do eachother. We practically kill a love so innocent and budding with our bare hands, because we can't stand going through the pains --- again. We have somehow developed a tradition of getting out, even before going in. (Sigh).


As I sit on this platform, I've come up with autogenous questions, ones  which I'd like for us to ask one - another:-

Why So Afraid To Love?

How Long Do We Intend To Remain This Way?

What Miracle Of Sorts Are We Expecting To Witness Before Giving Love, True Love A Chance To Blossom?

Why Are We Allowing Our Hurts Turn Us Into Eternal Emotional Cowards.

How We Have In One Accord Turned One Of Life's Most Simplest Vocations To The Hardest, If Not Impossible.

Why Have We Become So Wrapped Up In Self.
 
Where exactly Do We Draw The Line From Being Careful To Sheer Self Absorbedness?

In a popular pidgin English parlance --- "Shey na like this we go dey dey?"


As the year comes to a close, as we look forward to a new one, in addition to our hopes and dreams for the new year --- permit me to permit myself and everyone that this writ concerns to Actually Look Forward To Love Too. Love in ALL Ramifications.

Now that's not so hard, or is it?